Siblings: The Ghosts of Childhood that Haunt your Love and Work

Siblings: The Ghosts of Childhood that Haunt your Love and Work

Karen Lewis, Author | More books by this author

Published: 2015
112 pages


A couple is having marital problems. A competent professional woman is insecure and depressed. A man can’t seem to succeed at work. What do these adults have in common? Their problems may all emanate from unresolved issues with their childhood siblings.

You probably don’t know you have two sets: the flesh and blood ones you grew up with; the second set consists of your childhood perceptions and resentments. Like ghosts, they are invisible and they never age

You carry these sibling ghosts within; they haunt you, sometimes causing intractable problems in your relationships with your real siblings. More significantly, they may be transferred into your love, work and friendship relationships.

Ghosts have three components: frozen images, crystallized roles (which can be transferred onto other adults), and unhealthy loyalty (affecting success at work and with friends.

Chapters include Marrying Your Siblings and Taking Your Siblings to Work in Your Lunch Box; how ghosts complicate working with siblings of your aging parents; how sibling relationship patterns get recreated across generations; 'exorcising' your ghosts; description of sibling intensive retreats. The final chapter is a how-to for therapist doing sibling therapy.